The Ball Is In Your Court

How would you feel today if you woke up next to someone who brought you joy? Someone you find peace in. Someone who makes you smile the very second you open your eyes. Someone whose existence lightens up your day and puts a fire in your belly. To make you want to do more. To be more. What would you do if you woke up today, feeling that way?

Would you do a big stretch and yawn and smile at the rising sun? Would you sing in the shower as you get ready for work? Smile at a stranger and say good morning, just because? If you were in love today, would you fall to your knees and thank God to see another day? Would you count your blessings and be grateful for come what may?

What would you say if I told you, you could feel this way. That you could be in love without the need of someone else. What would you say if I told you, if you want to be in love then you can be in love. That you could fall in love with the way the wind blows through your hair. Fall in love with the trees, the moon and the sun. Fall in love with the earth below your feet. Fall in love with every breathe you take. Fall in love with cancelled plans, with binge watching shows on Netflix, with sheer boredom. Fall in love with a stranger in the queue at the grocery store. 

If you want to be in love but wake up on your own, don’t fret. Because you can feel those things and be in love by yourself, with yourself. All the things you would do for them, do for you. 

If you don’t know where to start, start by smiling at people walking by. Start by greeting strangers with a warm ‘hi'. Start by seeing the beauty in everything. Start by paying more attention to things that make your heart sing. Plan a spontaneous holiday, go on an adventure, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, stuff your face with cake, go on a solo coffee date. 

Start by falling in love with the little things. The small details. The commute to work. The short tea breaks. Start by falling in love with the weekdays as well as the weekends. Stop wishing your life away, wishing for the next day you have time off, wishing for your next holiday. Fall in love with now, with this very moment, with today.

So if you want to be in love, be in love. Life really is too short. Maybe being in love isn't about anyone else at all. The ball is in your court. 

I Saw A Fortune Teller

I need to tell you guys the backstory on why I even went to a fortune teller. I've never believed in them, I thought they always said generic things that people can normally relate to. Or things that will happen in the future that could happen to anyone. Like, oh you will get pregnant in the next ten years. Cheers oh great woman of the future. I would have never guessed.

So do I believe in them now? Not quite. I'm not sure. But this lady definitely creeped me out.

A few months ago, my stepmum went to this fortune teller. She told her that her daughter will do well in school and get good grades. Go to uni, get a good job and be successful. You know, generic things. But then she looked down at my stepmum's stomach.

'There's something wrong below your stomach', she said.
'No there's nothing wrong.'
'Something is wrong and it will give you problems in the future.'

So my stepmum got paranoid. She went to her GP and lied that she had pain in her stomach so they would refer her to get x-rays. They went back and fourth for a few weeks until the doctor finally authorised a referral. She went for an x-ray and they saw there was something covering half her womb and ovaries. They couldn't figure out what it was, so they sent her for an MRI scan. The scan showed that there was something there, around ten centimeters long, but they still didn't know for sure what it was. It could be a huge cyst, or it could be something cancerous. All they knew was that it had to come out.

She now has an appointment for a hysterectomy to remove her entire uterus and also to remove her ovaries.

This thing had been growing for years and she had no idea. How crazy?

So hearing that, I wanted to go too. Just you know, out of curiosity. My stepmum called her up and arranged it.

It was done at her house. She took me to a private room, lit incense sticks and candles. Super creepy shit. She made me drink a thick coffee and told me to leave some of it at the bottom of the teacup. Then she laid out tarot cards. Here's what she told me..

You're completely changing as a person. This year is going to be amazing for you, a lot of changes are going to take place and it's going to open a lot of doors for you. Something big is going to happen soon, something that requires documents. I know you're nervous for it but you shouldn't be. You may or may not get the answer you want but don't worry, cause even if you don't get a 'yes' there's going to be new opportunities that will come to you. 

Okay, she was right. So far this year really has been amazing for me. I have an interview soon for something. Something huge that I've been waiting for a long time. She started off spooky but it gets worse..

I'm seeing someone by the name of... Hamid.

Bruh. That's my housemate. I swear my jaw dropped.

He's very close to you and he loves you like a big brother. He really cares about you. He has some friends but he is lonely. He doesn't have any of his family close to him and he misses them. Something is going to happen and either he will move out, or you will move out. 

How did she know this?!

You don't sleep well. There's always something on your mind. It's like you always feel anxious about something. You try to plan things in your head, thing's about the future. You also think too much about the past. Try and clear your head before you go to sleep. You keep thinking about where you want to be in life. You want to do big things but you're lazy, you need someone to keep pushing you. Stop being like this. 

Erm, has this woman been spying on me?

Your mum is a strong woman. You look up to her a lot, she's your role model. I want you to know that she thinks about you everyday. 

I wanted to cry at this point.

You have two people in love with you. You're not sure about one of them, but the other one will bring you happiness. You two are going to live a long life together. 

Wrong. Probably more than two people. None of them will bring me happiness. Sorry.

Someone is going to be pregnant soon, a close friend or relative. It's going to bring a lot of joy in your life.

I don't believe this one either, but you never know I guess.

You loved someone a lot in the past, but he hurt you and broke your heart. You're scared to trust anyone else. You need to stop worrying about who else is going to hurt you. Don't worry, a good man is coming.

A lot of people can relate to this one too so whatever, next.

You have a friend that's close to you but doesn't want what's best for you. Stop telling everyone your secrets. Some of the people around you are jealous of you. 

She started off well but it just went downhill from there. My friends are amazing and no one is jealous of me. She said a few more generic things that I won't get into mostly because I've forgotten them. But yeah, that was spooky. The fact that she actually named my housemate was crazy. Are these people witches? How the hell did she know that?

I'm still not sure whether I believe in fortune tellers or not. But real or not, this lady was good at what she did. Maybe she's gifted. Maybe she has some sort of sixth sense. Who knows..

If you're reading this, wish me luck for my interview please. Luck, prayers, voodoo, anything. I need all the help I can get.

Thank you!

First Night In Prague

I was sharing the room with two South Korean girls, who were friends, and a Chinese girl who was travelling on her own. They were all lovely. I thought I would feel a bit strange sharing a room with girls I didn't know but it was fine to be honest. No awkward silences, no need for forced conversation. I felt comfortable.

I sat in bed wondering if I should go out and brace the cold. The temperature at night went down to minus ten. I only had two nights in Prague so I didn't really want to waste any time. I took out my phone and searched for the best cocktail bars. Cause if you know me, you know I love a good cocktail.

I got my mirror and started applying lip-liner, and realised that the Chinese girl, her name was Hebe, kept glancing over at me.

'Where are you going?'
'Just going to go sit at a bar'
'Oh.. Okay..'

She started fidgeting, as if she wanted to ask something but couldn't quite get her words out.

'You wanna come?'

Her face lit up. A smile spread across her face. She was a petite girl with small features. I thought she couldn't be any older than 22. She spoke in broken English with a strong Chinese accent. I wasn't really in the mood to have any company or to make conversation, but she looked really bored and was eating sliced bread on its own. Just plain bread, with nothing on it. She needed saving.



She jumped up and quickly put her jacket on, still grinning. We left and walked to Bugsy's Bar. The place had really good reviews online and the cocktails looked top-notch. I fancied something with Tequila so I ordered Bugsy's Design Margarita. Hebe stared at the menu, flicking through the pages but it seemed like she didn't know what she was looking at.

'You need any help?'
'Yeah, erm, I don't know what to get.'
'Okay, what kind of spirits do you like? Then we can go from there.'
'Spirits?', she sounded confused.
'Yeah, you know like what kind of alcohol? Do you like whiskey, brandy, vodka, tequila?'
'Umm... I don't know'

Okay, so maybe she's not much of a drinker. I tried again.

'Alright so how do you want your drink to taste? Would you prefer it to be sweet, sour or bitter?
'I like sweet'. Now we're getting somewhere.
'Okay would you like your drink to be strong? Or don't you want to taste the alcohol?'
'No I don't want strong.'

I called the barman over and told him that she wants a sweet cocktail and doesn't want it to be too strong, and to make her something special.

When she got the drink she got so excited she spilt a quarter of it over herself.



'I'll be honest with you, I've never been to a bar before'.
Oh god, I've just given alcohol to a minor. The bouncer outside didn't ask for ID. Well done Ads.
'What? How old are you?'
'Nearly thirty.'
'And you've never been to a bar?'
'No, it's not very popular in China. Not with my friends anyway'.
'Well, how do you like it? Do you like your drink?'
'Yes, it's very nice'. Every time she took a sip of it, she gave me a big smile. It made me really happy to see her enjoying herself so much.

She was a cutie. She told me about her life, and how she travels alone because all her friends have kids. She was travelling to a couple cities around Europe and tonight was her last night in Prague.

'Tonight has been really special, you're so kind. I'll always remember you', she said as we were finishing off our drinks.

My heart melted. Before we came to the bar, I reluctantly asked her if she wanted to come. I only asked her because she looked so bored on her own and I felt bad. But seeing her beaming face made my night. I do believe that some people are just meant to cross paths. We were meant to meet that night. Maybe I got sent to her for a bar experience, but she got sent to me for something much more heart warming. Showing kindness to strangers is good for the soul, it made me feel like I had a purpose that night. It was one of the highlights of my trip and I have her to thank for that.



When we walked out she burst into giggles. She put her hand to her chest.

'My heart is beating so fast!'

I laughed and thanked the alcohol Gods that we only had one drink, otherwise I probably would have had to carry her back.

First Day In Prague

I woke up at 5:30am, got ready and headed to the airport. My initial plan was to travel on a budget and get public transport to the airport. But honestly, I don't know who I was trying to kid. I knew I would've woken up and ended up getting an Uber, so I just paid for airport parking online. Technically, you could say I saved money by not getting a cab. Yay me.

To make up for things, from Prague airport I got a bus and then train to the city centre. I just googled which bus and train to take and it was pretty straight forward. This is the website I used to help me. It cost me less than £2. Cheap as chips mate.



I stayed at Hostel Franz Kafka. I wanted the real travelling experience but the thought of sharing a room with men gave me anxiety. I'm not sure if all hostels have this option, I've never stayed in one before, but you could choose if you want to stay in a mixed room or an all girls room. So instead of throwing myself in the deep end, I booked the all girls room.

I was really surprised when I got there. I was expecting a rundown building with drug dealers hanging around outside. I walked past the hostel so many times cause the building just looked like an apartment. And maybe part of it was, cause only floors three to five were part of Hostel Franz Kafka.

The hostel was super clean. The location was perfect, nearly everything was walking distance. I really can't fault the place. It changed my view on hostels, they're not all grimy and smelly just cause they're cheap. If you're going to Prague, I'd definitely recommend this place.



I went to my room, put my backpack in a locker then left to get something to eat. I had a few restaurants written down on my notes that I wanted to go to, first on my list was Lokál Dlouhááá. I wanted to try traditional Czech food, and reviews told me that this was the best place for it. They're not about grand decors and neat presentation. They wack the food on the plate and serve it up, just the way your mum does. No shade.

The layout was kind of weird. It was just a super long restaurant with tables on each side.

I got the 6 weeks ripened fried cheese with tarter sauce for starter. I didn't realise the cheese was 150g. The waiter pointed it out and was like 'you know that is a main meal right?'. So he offered to half the cheese and charge me less. If it wasn't for the tartar sauce the cheese would've tasted a bit bland. The '6 weeks ripened' just made it sound fancy for no reason. It tasted like ordinary edam cheese to me. 

For my main I got the braised beef roasted in a creamy sauce with cranberry jam. The cranberry jam looked like mousse. Those white circle things are bread dumplings. I didn't really like it. I'm sorry to any Czech people reading. The sauce was a bit too sweet for me, I should've tried the goulash. That's actually what I originally went for but ended up getting this instead. If you like your food a bit on the sweet side I think you'd like this though!



Ermmm... What did I do next? I really should've bought a diary for this trip, my memory is so poor. Remember my last diary I posted on here? I threw it across my ex's floor the last time I saw him in Mozambique. God I'm so dramatic. That diary's floating around somewhere in Maputo right now. I should've wrote 'open at your own risk' in capital letters on the cover. I feel sorry for whoever reads it. It's probably like Jumanji, but instead of their life getting completely overrun by jungle wildlife and calamities, they fall in love within five minutes with the next person they see. Followed by tears and heartbreak, and a possible plane journey to another continent. Ending in disappointment. Ha, so fun. 

Okay sorry, off topic. Back to Prague.

Can we talk about the weather for a second? I thought I was going to die (see, dramatic). I've never felt cold like it. At some points I thought my toenails were going to drop off. My hands were so red and wrinkly they didn't look like they belonged to me. I had to take breaks every 15 minutes and sit at a cafe to warm up. The air stung my face. It was painful. The temperature dropped to minus eight at one point. 

Speaking of cafes, the coffee in Prague made me want to pack my shit and move there. It was incredible. I drank so many lattes, I was constantly bouncing off walls. 

Cute little place called Coffee Lovers 

I stayed at Coffee lovers for a few hours, reading my book, watching people walk by. I fell in love with Prague on the first night. The city was beautiful. I walked the streets with a smile on my face. Or maybe I thought I was smiling. I don't know. My face was numb and pretty stiff. But I was smiling on the inside and that's what counts.