Any Oneirocritic's Out There?

Me when I wake up in the mornings

I've been having dreams Google can't tell me the meaning of. Wondering if any of you can help me? Here's a few of them:

Pregnant Kylie Jenner
I had a dream I was pregnant Kylie Jenner and I was in hiding. I decided enough was enough and it was time to show my face, tell the world that I am indeed pregnant. I ended up going to a party and suddenly needing to give birth. So I popped out her/my baby. Right there. On the dance floor.

On The Run
My ex was on the run and I tagged along on some Bonnie and Clyde shit. I am a moron even in my dreams. He ended up robbing a bus and posing as a bus driver. Like, he fully stopped for passengers, took the correct route, all whilst keeping within the speed limit. Not sure why he did this, or where we were going, or why he was even on the run. I didn't ask questions. I was there pretending to be a ticket inspector, and also looking out for police. Lord give me strength. His face was all over the news so if this was Grand Theft Auto he definitely would've been on five stars.

But no one knew who he was. Do you know why? Cause he had a hat on. Cause apparently hats hide the identity of a person. A hat.

In the end, we ran off the bus and his stupid friend picked us up and took us to his house. Police found us there cause his number plate was all over the CCTV cameras. We got caught because of a number plate. Not because of my ex's actual face. That was on show. The whole time.

We both got thrown in jail. No happy ending. Sorry.


Google was no help.

Killing Spree
I went around killing motherfuckers. Real badass. Were they criminals? Was I the criminal? Did they deserve it? All questions I don't know the answer to.

I don't want to Google the meaning of this in case the government think I'm trying to join ISIS. I'm Iranian. Next thing you know, police are breaking down my door and it's me who's on the run. With no ride or die chick.

Someone Was Trying To Kill Me
I was running away from someone that wanted to kill me with a machete. Karma's a bitch. I don't know if I died in the end or not. Do you need to know the small details to give me the meaning of this?

I Decided To Not Have Any Carbs Or Sugar For A Month
This isn't a nightmare. This is actually happening. Help me.

Carbs is in everything. Sugar is in everything. I can't even eat a fucking banana. Not that I eat them much, but if I wanted to, I couldn't. Anyway, I'll write more on this at the end of February.

If my withdrawal symptoms haven't killed me by then.