I'm Back, Let's Begin

So, I'm back. Part of me was homesick and part of me was dreading coming back. The results of our exams had come through and people in our group chat were saying that they failed and I was so sure I failed too. The week before my exam I went through hell and hardly got any revision done. So I was shitting bricks. I was already upset, this would've been the cherry on top.

But, by some miracle, I opened the letter and saw that I passed. I tried to jump up and down as quietly as I could cause people in my house were still sleeping. Finally, something to make me happy. Anyway, let's get back to it.

I was contemplating whether or not to carry on with this blog cause to be honest I don't really want to talk about it, let alone put it on the internet for everyone to see. But, I'm going to finish what I started. I'm always quick to give up with things once they haven't gone my way so I'll start making a change from now. I won't post this on Facebook or anywhere else for that matter so if you've found this, you've found it on your own accord. (I'm really surprised to see I've gotten a whole loada views since I've been away, I'm not sure where you guys have come from but welcome). I'll be skipping some parts, and not going into too much detail with others. Forgive me, but I want to get this over with and move on. To add to that, its hard for me to talk about how I felt then, because of how I feel now. But I'll try and not let my emotions alter the way I write.

Also I need to mention my phone got stolen two days before I was meant to fly back, and I was too cheap to upgrade my iCloud for 79p a month, so I've lost all my pictures. I have some that I sent to my friends so I guess its better than nothing. I'll add those in.

I'm not sure where to start, so I'll start from the very beginning.

It was day of departure. I woke up in a pool of my own vomit. Slight exaggeration, more like dribbles of vomit but it was disgusting nonetheless. I had gone to a bar for my birthday the night before and was given drinks the whole night. My friends didn't give me a chance to breathe. I don't think I took out my card once but somehow my hand was never empty. It was a fun night so I can't complain but this hangover was something else.

This is me clearly ecstatic to be turning 25.

I had so much planned for today but one slight movement of the head and it felt like the whole room was spiralling out of control. So what did I do?

I went back to sleep and thanked fuck that my flight was at 9pm. My nails can wait.

I woke up, realised it was way too late to go to my usual nail shop so went to the one down my road. Big mistake, they started chipping 48 hours later but hey at least I didn't miss my flight. First world problems.

My friend Gamze, God bless her soul came and packed for me cause I was clearly incapable. She even dropped me to the airport. What an angel.

I was so hungover there was no time for anxiety. I don't know which I would've preferred to be honest. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and nothing else. Don't think about anything, just walk.

I checked in, handed in my bags and got my boarding ticket. Found somewhere to eat, managed to stomach half a sandwich, went and bought a neck pillow (I've already got two at home but can never remember to use them more than once) and waited for my flight.

I got the window seat. The middle seat was empty and the aisle seat was taken by a rather large African lady. Shortly after, the middle seat belonged to her wig. Yes, she swung her wig off.

I landed in Addis Ababa and got slapped in the face by culture shock. Everyone was staring at me and it made me feel a bit out of place. The airport was a mess, no orderly queues, if you wanted to go to a bar or restaurant you'd have to leave the gate area and to come back in your bags would have to get scanned all over again. The line was long so I couldn't be bothered. I went downstairs to my gate and waited for two hours for my next flight. No sign of anxiety and for that I was grateful.

A girl started talking to me, she wore a headscarf and her mums whole face was covered. She asked me why I was going to Maputo and started telling me scare stories about how people get kidnapped there. I ignored it. Then she started talking about Islam.

'You're Iranian, how come you're not muslim?'
'Cause my mum allowed me to make my own choice, and she wasn't religious herself.'
'Oh, I think thats really sad.'

I ignored it. Be nice Adiné, be nice.

She carried on.

'I think it's important to teach your kids the values of Islam so it carries on in generations. Allah tells us that...'

Lord if this child carries on.

(She carried on)

Look, I don't have a problem with Islam, or any other religion. I respect you and your beliefs. All I ask you religious people is to respect mine in return.

I changed the subject back to Maputo. I would rather listen to the possibility of me getting kidnapped. I asked her why she was going and from then on it was a pretty nice conversation. She took my number, said she wanted to keep in touch, which was sweet.

It was finally time to get on the plane. I sat in the middle of two people. The smell of the guy that was sitting on my left was so potent I swear it burnt off my nose hairs. He kept moving.

Please stop lifting your arms up. Please.

Any sudden movement and I got a whiff of his smell.

And then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he started talking.

'Whats your name?'
'Adiné.'
'Where are you from?'
'London.'
'What religion are you?'

Ey? Fuck man. Leave me alone.

'I don't have one.'
'Oh no, Why? Christianity is the best religion. Honestly. It's the most kind and the most peaceful and..'

And so he went on. All I replied with was 'mmm'.

I closed my eyes so he would leave me alone. I managed to fall asleep.
But as soon as he saw I was awake he'd start again.

'Are you married?'
'No.'
'My uncle and brothers all have a white wife. I want a white wife too. Would you want to get married to a white man or black man?'

This conversation was getting ridiculous. I replied with 'I don't really care, whoever I fall in love with'.

'Hmm no, me I really want to get married to white. I would love to keep in touch with you. Maybe one day we go restaurant?'

Boy if you don't..

'I have been travelling around, I've been to Malaysia but I won't marry there cause their English not very good.'

I DON'T CARE!

'Can I have your number, so I can talk to you?'
'Erm no, give me your Facebook and I'll add you when I get WiFi.'
'Ok make sure you don't forget.'

Yeah right.

I closed my eyes again and prayed he'd stop talking. And moving.

The air hostesses brought lunch round. Guys, this dude left a strip of beef on his plate AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED SOME. Did I look famished or something? Are we mates for me to be picking food off your plate? I smiled and politely said no.

Few hours passed and I started to get restless. He was annoying me, I was squashed between two people and loverboy here had taken off his shoes so the smell was a double whammy.

Then, an announcement said to put on our seatbelt cause we were getting ready to land for Maputo. And just like that I felt anxiety kick me in the face. My stomach was about to come out my mouth and my heart started to beat so fast I swear I could feel it trying to come through my chest.

Deep breaths.
If the guy next to me asks why I'm breathing like this I swear I will lose my shit.

This is the part where I tell you guys he said he would spend a week with me in Tofo. You know, him. (If you're new here, you're going to have to go all the way to my first post to know what I'm talking about). The thought of being in the same country as him made blood drain from my face. Why was I so nervous? He offered to pick me up from the airport the day before but I said it was fine. I didn't think I deserved any favours plus I needed to get my shit together before I saw him. Look in the mirror, point to myself and say you got this and all that (joke).

(I'm not joking).

I got off the plane, again concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. There was no sign of my hangover and my nerves had fully taken over. Then, something else threw a spanner in the works. I saw a sign saying 'no yellow fever vaccination, no entry'. I thought I was going to throw up. No one told me about yellow fucking fever.

Please don't tell me I came all this way to be turned back again. 

The guy took my passport and told me to take a seat, apparently you can get the jab there for 50 dollars. I didn't mind, at least I could enter the country.

Then he called me. 'It's a scam for them to make money, you were only in Ethiopia for two hours so you don't need to get it done, argue with them, be firm. Oh and... I'm outside by the way'.

Huhhhhhhh?! My head started spinning. My stomach was in knots. I looked like a mess and I probably still had a hint of vomit on my breath. This was a really nice gesture but all I could concentrate on was not shitting myself. I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSELF A PEP TALK YET.

Pull yourself together woman.

I argued with the dude about yellow fever and to be honest it didn't take much. He was nice and told me he'll let me off. Saved myself 50 dollars.

I queued at passport control, got my bags off the conveyer belt, walked outside, looked around..

And then I saw him.

Fuck.