This year is the first year I'm going to spend my birthday on my own. I'm not upset about it. I was at first, I thought I'd feel really lonely but I'm content with it now. It's just another day anyway. (This is coming from someone who used to party from four days leading up to her birthday. Who even am I?) To be honest, it has the potential to be the best birthday yet. It's what you make of it. If I sit there with a sad face feeling sorry for myself of course it's going to be shit. I was thinking I could buy a cake and go share it with random locals - and pray that they don't see it as a suggestion to get into bed with me. Or they might give me a forlorn look and take a slice out of pity. Or they might think I'm a complete weirdo and shoo me away, who walks around and hands out cake?
I had a really bad day yesterday. Really really bad day. Like, turn on the shower so no one hears you sobbing bad day. I retrogressed back to square one. I was silly to think it was going to be onwards and upwards, not that it was, but I didn't think I could go back to that state. Shit happens though, its sad but I'm getting used to it.
So to cheer myself up I went to Paperchase because nothing cheers me up more than buying stationary I'll never use. No really, Paperchase has me by the balls. Highlighters that look like pandas? I definitely need those. A pencil case thats shaped like a watermelon? I can't not buy that. A mini plastic container that holds a mini fork and spoon inside? Well duh, I obviously need to carry cutlery around with me, especially mini ones! See. I'm a sucker for Paperchase. This time I feel like I bought something that I'll actually use though. I'm not taking my laptop to Mozambique with me cause I don't want it to get stolen, but I still want to write. So I bought a notebook.
Of course it couldn't be a cheap plain one that would still get the job done. Of course it had to have a map on it. Of course I had to get the matching pen. Come on guys, get with it.
Then later on I got dressed up to go to a club, I didn't want to be at home alone with my thoughts. But I, no exaggeration, sat down at the table and yawned all the way through it. Left. Forgot where I parked my car. Searched for 30 minutes. In heels. Got myself a burger and drove home. Not very exciting. Am I a granny now? I'm even losing my memory.
I feel like my quarter life crisis is brewing. I may or may not be very close to a mental breakdown. I'm not saying I'm going full throttle Britney Spears in 2007, but I am saying I'm cutting my hair. Short. Because nothing says new me than a new hairdo.
Wish me luck.
No comments
Post a Comment