I Missed My Flight To Tofo

Chill, I missed the flight on purpose.

He was going by bus so I decided to join him. I told him it was because I didn't want him to be on his own for seven hours, and while that was not a lie, I also wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. The time I had left with him was precious, and it was more valuable to me than the money I spent on the plane ticket. I could make that back in a day. I didn't care for the money and I didn't care for the uncomfortable journey. I even made out I didn't want my neck pillow just so he would use it. I let him put his bags near my leg and even though it was digging in my thigh the whole time I didn't complain cause it was adding to his comfort. You see, I showed my love in different ways but I don't think he ever saw it. Or maybe he chose not to. Or maybe he did and it wasn't enough. I didn't fall asleep, but I didn't care for that either. I had my book, and I had him, so I was happy. 

When we got off the bus the walk to Mozambeat Motel was a bit long. The roads there mainly consist of sand so it takes so much more energy to walk, plus I couldn't roll my suitcase along. Bless him, he carried both our luggage so it was more tiring for him than it was for me.

Mozambeat was real nice. I loved it there. The staff were super friendly and the food was top notch. I don't know what they seasoned their chips with but its hands down the best chips I've ever had. It was sprinkled with love (and crack cause it was so damn addictive) by the chip Gods.



The design of the place was pretty cool, proper chilled vibe. They had swinging chairs upstairs that I don't have any pictures of but you could watch the sunset from there. If you ever go to Tofo I'd definitely recommend it. The walk to the beach and restaurants is about 20 minutes but it's still worth it. Plus it's the only form of exercise I got so to be honest I was thankful for it.



I forgot to mention we actually arrived on my birthday. Later on we had cocktails then went to Branko's to have pizza and prawn hot rock. The prawns came raw and marinated and the rock came.... hot. You cooked it yourself, it was yum. (The food is great, but Branko himself is a bit of an arrogant arsehole. The dude needs to be nicer to his staff.)

We had more cocktails then went to the beach. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

It was perfect.

Bambi Is A Boy

This is a public announcement that I'm under the influence of alcohol and its only 21:37 on a Friday night and I'm already in bed. I've only had three cocktails before dinner but its hit me and I'm blaming it on the fact that I'm now 25 and an old woman. Oh to be young again.
There's been a lot of backspace action because I'm refusing to write like someone who is drunk. I am fine guys. Fine.

Where we were?

(Lol I really can't take myself seriously right now let alone tell a story but I have nothing better to do and to go to sleep at this time is just ridiculous. My life has not come to this. No suh)

Ok, I'm ready.

-------

He was sitting down on the phone with his back to me. I took a deep breath, I was about to walk up to him to say hi, but then someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and it was my friend from twitter. I haven't mentioned before but let me tell you the backstory:

A couple months ago before I was meant to leave, I went on twitter and typed 'Mozambique' in the search bar. I just wanted to see if I could find anyone who was over there, so I could ask them questions about what it's like out there and whatnot. I came across a girl and I messaged her about safety in Maputo, and her reply was 'here, take my number. WhatsApp me'. She showed me kindness from the very beginning. We talked and became friends.

I didn't ask her to come to the airport. I couldn't believe it. You'll come to realise in time that this girl has the sweetest soul. I have never met anyone so good-hearted. I hugged her and told her that he had turned up too, she knew about him already.

I took another deep breath and walked up to him. My palms were clammy, and my legs felt like Bambi's when he tried to walk on ice for the first time. Lorddddd if my mum ever found out that a man had had this effect on me I would receive a grilling. I managed to open my mouth and let out a weak 'hi'.

(I just had to google if Bambi was a girl or boy, I need to go to sleep).

Fast forward.

The three of us walked to his taxi. I was all over the place, I even dropped my passport. If he hadn't picked it up someones uncle definitely would've sold it for a couple thousand meticais.

We found my apartment. I showered, got ready, then we all went to a restaurant called Treehouse (where two lizards nearly fell on our heads) (we think they were getting jiggy on a branch and they got too excited and lost their balance).

Fast forward x4.

I went back to his apartment.......... heh....

Fast forward x16.

He took the next day off work too so we went to a seafood restaurant I can't for the life of me remember the name of, then we chilled at Polana Serena Hotel. It was pretty nice, had a clean swimming pool and sun beds. I had a good time.

Here is a picture of Polana Hotel I stole off google to make this post look a bit more pretty because I am a bad ass bitch who doesn't care about any copyright laws.

My brain is legit shutting down. This has taken two hours to write. 

The next day we go to Tofo but that is for another post and another day when I am sober.

I'm Back, Let's Begin

So, I'm back. Part of me was homesick and part of me was dreading coming back. The results of our exams had come through and people in our group chat were saying that they failed and I was so sure I failed too. The week before my exam I went through hell and hardly got any revision done. So I was shitting bricks. I was already upset, this would've been the cherry on top.

But, by some miracle, I opened the letter and saw that I passed. I tried to jump up and down as quietly as I could cause people in my house were still sleeping. Finally, something to make me happy. Anyway, let's get back to it.

I was contemplating whether or not to carry on with this blog cause to be honest I don't really want to talk about it, let alone put it on the internet for everyone to see. But, I'm going to finish what I started. I'm always quick to give up with things once they haven't gone my way so I'll start making a change from now. I won't post this on Facebook or anywhere else for that matter so if you've found this, you've found it on your own accord. (I'm really surprised to see I've gotten a whole loada views since I've been away, I'm not sure where you guys have come from but welcome). I'll be skipping some parts, and not going into too much detail with others. Forgive me, but I want to get this over with and move on. To add to that, its hard for me to talk about how I felt then, because of how I feel now. But I'll try and not let my emotions alter the way I write.

Also I need to mention my phone got stolen two days before I was meant to fly back, and I was too cheap to upgrade my iCloud for 79p a month, so I've lost all my pictures. I have some that I sent to my friends so I guess its better than nothing. I'll add those in.

I'm not sure where to start, so I'll start from the very beginning.

It was day of departure. I woke up in a pool of my own vomit. Slight exaggeration, more like dribbles of vomit but it was disgusting nonetheless. I had gone to a bar for my birthday the night before and was given drinks the whole night. My friends didn't give me a chance to breathe. I don't think I took out my card once but somehow my hand was never empty. It was a fun night so I can't complain but this hangover was something else.

This is me clearly ecstatic to be turning 25.

I had so much planned for today but one slight movement of the head and it felt like the whole room was spiralling out of control. So what did I do?

I went back to sleep and thanked fuck that my flight was at 9pm. My nails can wait.

I woke up, realised it was way too late to go to my usual nail shop so went to the one down my road. Big mistake, they started chipping 48 hours later but hey at least I didn't miss my flight. First world problems.

My friend Gamze, God bless her soul came and packed for me cause I was clearly incapable. She even dropped me to the airport. What an angel.

I was so hungover there was no time for anxiety. I don't know which I would've preferred to be honest. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and nothing else. Don't think about anything, just walk.

I checked in, handed in my bags and got my boarding ticket. Found somewhere to eat, managed to stomach half a sandwich, went and bought a neck pillow (I've already got two at home but can never remember to use them more than once) and waited for my flight.

I got the window seat. The middle seat was empty and the aisle seat was taken by a rather large African lady. Shortly after, the middle seat belonged to her wig. Yes, she swung her wig off.

I landed in Addis Ababa and got slapped in the face by culture shock. Everyone was staring at me and it made me feel a bit out of place. The airport was a mess, no orderly queues, if you wanted to go to a bar or restaurant you'd have to leave the gate area and to come back in your bags would have to get scanned all over again. The line was long so I couldn't be bothered. I went downstairs to my gate and waited for two hours for my next flight. No sign of anxiety and for that I was grateful.

A girl started talking to me, she wore a headscarf and her mums whole face was covered. She asked me why I was going to Maputo and started telling me scare stories about how people get kidnapped there. I ignored it. Then she started talking about Islam.

'You're Iranian, how come you're not muslim?'
'Cause my mum allowed me to make my own choice, and she wasn't religious herself.'
'Oh, I think thats really sad.'

I ignored it. Be nice Adiné, be nice.

She carried on.

'I think it's important to teach your kids the values of Islam so it carries on in generations. Allah tells us that...'

Lord if this child carries on.

(She carried on)

Look, I don't have a problem with Islam, or any other religion. I respect you and your beliefs. All I ask you religious people is to respect mine in return.

I changed the subject back to Maputo. I would rather listen to the possibility of me getting kidnapped. I asked her why she was going and from then on it was a pretty nice conversation. She took my number, said she wanted to keep in touch, which was sweet.

It was finally time to get on the plane. I sat in the middle of two people. The smell of the guy that was sitting on my left was so potent I swear it burnt off my nose hairs. He kept moving.

Please stop lifting your arms up. Please.

Any sudden movement and I got a whiff of his smell.

And then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he started talking.

'Whats your name?'
'Adiné.'
'Where are you from?'
'London.'
'What religion are you?'

Ey? Fuck man. Leave me alone.

'I don't have one.'
'Oh no, Why? Christianity is the best religion. Honestly. It's the most kind and the most peaceful and..'

And so he went on. All I replied with was 'mmm'.

I closed my eyes so he would leave me alone. I managed to fall asleep.
But as soon as he saw I was awake he'd start again.

'Are you married?'
'No.'
'My uncle and brothers all have a white wife. I want a white wife too. Would you want to get married to a white man or black man?'

This conversation was getting ridiculous. I replied with 'I don't really care, whoever I fall in love with'.

'Hmm no, me I really want to get married to white. I would love to keep in touch with you. Maybe one day we go restaurant?'

Boy if you don't..

'I have been travelling around, I've been to Malaysia but I won't marry there cause their English not very good.'

I DON'T CARE!

'Can I have your number, so I can talk to you?'
'Erm no, give me your Facebook and I'll add you when I get WiFi.'
'Ok make sure you don't forget.'

Yeah right.

I closed my eyes again and prayed he'd stop talking. And moving.

The air hostesses brought lunch round. Guys, this dude left a strip of beef on his plate AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED SOME. Did I look famished or something? Are we mates for me to be picking food off your plate? I smiled and politely said no.

Few hours passed and I started to get restless. He was annoying me, I was squashed between two people and loverboy here had taken off his shoes so the smell was a double whammy.

Then, an announcement said to put on our seatbelt cause we were getting ready to land for Maputo. And just like that I felt anxiety kick me in the face. My stomach was about to come out my mouth and my heart started to beat so fast I swear I could feel it trying to come through my chest.

Deep breaths.
If the guy next to me asks why I'm breathing like this I swear I will lose my shit.

This is the part where I tell you guys he said he would spend a week with me in Tofo. You know, him. (If you're new here, you're going to have to go all the way to my first post to know what I'm talking about). The thought of being in the same country as him made blood drain from my face. Why was I so nervous? He offered to pick me up from the airport the day before but I said it was fine. I didn't think I deserved any favours plus I needed to get my shit together before I saw him. Look in the mirror, point to myself and say you got this and all that (joke).

(I'm not joking).

I got off the plane, again concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. There was no sign of my hangover and my nerves had fully taken over. Then, something else threw a spanner in the works. I saw a sign saying 'no yellow fever vaccination, no entry'. I thought I was going to throw up. No one told me about yellow fucking fever.

Please don't tell me I came all this way to be turned back again. 

The guy took my passport and told me to take a seat, apparently you can get the jab there for 50 dollars. I didn't mind, at least I could enter the country.

Then he called me. 'It's a scam for them to make money, you were only in Ethiopia for two hours so you don't need to get it done, argue with them, be firm. Oh and... I'm outside by the way'.

Huhhhhhhh?! My head started spinning. My stomach was in knots. I looked like a mess and I probably still had a hint of vomit on my breath. This was a really nice gesture but all I could concentrate on was not shitting myself. I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSELF A PEP TALK YET.

Pull yourself together woman.

I argued with the dude about yellow fever and to be honest it didn't take much. He was nice and told me he'll let me off. Saved myself 50 dollars.

I queued at passport control, got my bags off the conveyer belt, walked outside, looked around..

And then I saw him.

Fuck.